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March 1, 2009 by J.G. Clarence
Filed under Advice, Dating advice, Happiness, Inspiration, Memories, Men And Relationships
If you are still in love, you already know that there is no easy answer to how to deal with a breakup.
Breakups are emotionally draining at the very least, whether you are leaving or the one who has been left. There isn’t a magic formula to take away your pain, but there are things you can do to make it as easier.
First of all, accept that it has happened or is happening. Nothing is worse than trying to resolve a conflict or bring closure to a situation when one of the people simply refuse to accept reality.
Sure, we all like to hold on to romantic notions and memories of better days, but this isnt the time to lock yourself in your room playing sappy love songs and staring at old photographs. You can only change what you acknowledge, so trying to pretend it away is useless.
Secondly, to say it bluntly, cut the crap. Too many of us resort to manipulation because we lack the skills needed to express ourselves or handle conflict in a healthy way. If you don’t want the breakup and are genuinely devastated, tell them in a mature and rational way.
Begging, pleading and pouting do nothing to better the situation, and are definitely not how to deal with a breakup when you’re still in love.
Finally, drop the blame game and take responsibility. Lose the victim mentality and admit your mistakes in the situation.
Making excuses and blaming others will only hurt your relationship. It’s also important not to make empty promises of change just to smooth things over for the time being. Buried issues always come up again, so it is best to deal with them properly the first time. Take an honest evaluation of yourself and try to see their point of view.
If you are trying to find a way to deal with a breakup when you are still in love, handling it in a mature and honest way will keep alive the chances of them taking you back or at least remaining on good terms. When we are hurt or feel vulnerable, many of us resort to unhealthy and hurtful ways.
Step back and take the time to really think about things and make good, sound choices on how to go forward.
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