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July 9, 2009 by Eva Elisa
Filed under Advice, Confidence Dating, Dating advice, Love & Care, Parenting Advice
It seems that everyone has had one of those great dates that seems to work from the minute you meet up and start talking.
You like all of the same things, you listen to the same music, you have some of the same friends, you like the same foods. You think that it must be a match made in heaven and you can’t imagine what could ever turn you off of this person.
Then, either at the end of the date or at some point on one of the first few dates you learn that they still live with the parents.
Hearing that someone you thought was perfect for you still lives with their parents when they are of age makes most people cringe. Before you say goodbye without looking back, perhaps you should take a moment to put your judgments aside. Perhaps they have a really good reason to be living with their parents.
Before you write them off as a loser you should just bring up the fact that they still live with their parents. Ask them about it, and be straight forward about it. Say something as simple as, “You mentioned that you still live with your parents. How is that going?” You don’t have to be rude about it, but just get an idea of why they are there.
If they don’t seem to have an issue with the fact that they live with their parents, ask about where else they have lived. Many people just move back when something happens that is beyond their control. You may also find that the person has never lived apart from their parents, which is something you may want to be a bit weary of if they are out of their teens or early twenties.
When you ask the person about it, you may find that they have a legit reason to be living with their parents. Perhaps they help take care of their elderly parents who just need a bit of watching over. Or, maybe they are having work done to their home and they needed a place to stay. It could also be that they lost their job and need some time to get back on their feet.
If they are staying with their parents it isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you just need to get to the bottom of it to determine what their plans are for the future and how you feel about it.
If they have no intention to leave home you need to think about whether this is someone that you can be with. You may want someone who aspires to be more and do more with their life. You just need to feel it out and see how you feel about what you find, you may find that they have a totally reasonable excuse for living at home, or they just could be the dreaded loser.
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